At the start of each year, I take the time to reflect on all the things I’ve accomplished, from personal to professional. The start of 2020, however, was a bit different since I had resigned from my job at Dezeen. You’re probably thinking “that’s pretty dumb” but truth be told, I just wasn’t happy. And happiness to me trumps all.
Not working is weird for me. I’ve never not had a job and the past month and half has been a mix of “wow, I want to be a stay-at-home cat mom” and “I cannot wait to get back to having a normal routine”. Leaving a job without one lined up is stressful, but job hunting is a full time job in itself. I’m so glad I’m taking the time to look for a position that I’ll actually be happy doing.
I’ve been filling my days with cuddles with my kitty, yoga and fitness, reading and just trying to figure out what the next step in my career will look like. I’ve been doing the publishing thing for over 10 years now and while I’ve been very lucky for all the opportunities I’ve been given, I’m starting to have second thoughts. I haven’t worked for a magazine that I have been 100 per cent obsessed with, y’know?
No clue. I would love to continue writing, of course, but doing that full time is very competitive and pitching isn’t my strongest skillset. However, that is something I’m going to take this time to work on and perfect. Maybe this is the time I take the plunge and go freelance and focus on a range of things I love like writing, photography and fashion. I guess I’m just nervous about how unstable the freelance life can be, and after having been rejected by many publications and brands for being “overly qualified” to take on more junior roles like copywriting, for example, my self esteem is at an all time low. But I won’t give up. I can’t. All I need is one YES, and I am determined to get it.
My friend Laura of The Fashion Kidd asked me what my word was for 2020. I initially had said happiness but then I thought, reinvent is more accurate to my current situation. I have a blank slate and I can do anything I want with it. I can start writing that novel I’ve been wanting to write for years, now that I actually have the time. The world is my oyster, as they say, and I should be taking that more to my advantage.
I live in one of the most incredible cities and I feel like I’ve slid into a rut of just doing the bare minimum. Well, this is my time to change that. I want to push myself harder and exceed my own expectations because I do have a habit of taking a job because it looks good on paper. And while that is a smart career move, it’s important to take your happiness into account – even if it does take a little while longer until you land your dream gig. We have one life. Just one. Why aren’t we all running like we’re on fire towards our wildest dreams?